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Being “Broken Together” isn’t the best way

There is a contemporary Christian song that has jumped to the top of the charts.broken together One Flesh Awakening

The song, Broken Together, by Casting Crowns has struck a nerve within the Christian community and receives a tremendous amount of play time on various radio stations.

I must admit, I was taken in by this song too.

But is there a better way than being “broken together”? Does Casting Crowns have it right?

Having the opportunity to sit with couple after couple who finds themselves near the brink of divorce, I know all too well how painfully true these lyrics are for so many people.

The theme of the song is that perhaps the couple were meant to be “broken together”. It even states that maybe they were not meant to be complete.

I mean no disrespect to Mark Hall or Casting Crowns for the lyrics found within this moving ballad. Those lyrics just began to stick in my head and pierce my heart. I think I do understand the point that the writer was trying to make; but I was stuck on the phrase “broken together”.

You see, working with couples and having such a passion for marriage can be a frightfully amazing place to reside.

On one side we are allowed a view into new love, new beginnings and all of the wonder of what “can be”; on the other side we are faced with utter devastation, broken hearts and failed attempts to achieve happiness.

I can’t help but ask myself the question, “Must we be ‘broken together'”? It that the only option?

Here is one key thing that sticks out to me in this line of thinking: things that can be broken are rigid, fragile or complex.

But imagine this: what if we went into marriage more like clay?

The alternative to being broken together

Clay is soft, pliable and mold-able. If we were more like clay we wouldn’t have to be distinct parts of something that has been almost forced together with another; instead of  broken together, we’d instead be molded together into something brand new and beautiful.

I realize that many relationships are at a place where the couple finds themselves in the song, at a place of hurt and desperation. Years of bad behaviors may have caused wounds that run very deep. Experiencing years of bad behavior patterns could have brought two rigid, inflexible individuals to an impasse.

You may feel as if there is no hope.

But there is hope!

The true hope

God is the answer. As the song says, “Only God can change our minds… I’m praying God will help our broken hearts align”.

I challenge you to begin to pray for yourself to become soft, pliable and flexible like clay, that God can mold you into a new person.

This will be an important step in moving toward healing with your spouse.

This will enable you to be able to instead of being broken together, to be “molded together”.

Pray today. Pray now.

Because marriage matters,

Carrie