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OFA034: Brad and Kate Aldrich

Brad Aldrich and Kate AldrichBrad and Kate Aldrich write and speak on all things marriage. In 2010 they followed God’s prompting and founded One Flesh Marriage Ministries, a blog based on their marriage journey and God’s word in Ephesians 5.

Brad is the Director of Small Groups and ReEngage Marriage ministry at their church, the Worship Center. He is also a practicing Pennsylvania Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist. Kate is a homeschooling mom and a natural light portrait photographer in her free time.

God has given Brad and Kate three amazing blessings, two biological and one adopted who have enriched their life and marriage. They live in Lancaster County, Pennsylvania where the Amish buggies roam.

Three top tips they’ve taken to allow their marriage to thrive:

1. Step up and make changes yourself – stop looking to your spouse to change.
2. No matter where you’re at, God has a plan and purpose for sex, and you shouldn’t be ignoring that.
3. From Re-engage curriculum by Watermark church in Dallas TX: If you want to change your marriage, draw a circle around yourself and change everyone inside of that circle.

How to figure out what to change

  • Ask your spouse.
  • If you can’t ask your spouse, write down what would you like to see changed in your spouse, and then ask yourself what lessons are in that for you?
  • Work on only one thing at a time. When you’ve gotten pretty good at it, go to the next one.

Best Marriage Advice:

  • Know each other’s love languages
  • Draw the circle around yourself and look only at yourself for change, and don’t look for your spouse to change

What is one thing you know now that you wish you had known before you got married?

  • Talk to couples who have good marriages and be open and proactive when talking with them
  • Realize sex in marriage is not automatic

Other advice

  • Realize that change is a slow process as it sometimes takes awhile to understand the changes you need to make.
  • A big change occurred for them when they started spending so much time together.
  • Look out for each other’s needs
  • Respect each other
  • Become aware of your internal selfishness and make a decision to step out of that.
  • Somebody has to step out and be the one to make the first change, irregardless of how the spouse responses. Often it can take a LONG time, and don’t give up.
  • When you drop your needs and seek to meet your spouse’s needs, it will come back to you andyour needs will get met.

You can contact Brad and Kate at http://onefleshmarriage.com/

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