Jason and Tiffani Graves of SongSix3 are adultery survivors. They bear witness to the fact that a marriage CAN survive – and even be far better than it ever was before – IF you are both willing to do the hard work of forgiving, and rebuilding the trust that was broken. They give 100 percent of the credit for saving their marriage to Jesus Christ.
They’ve been married for 27 years, have 6 children (2 grown and 4 young ones), three grandchildren, a shared heart for music ministry, and a calling to help other couples make their marriages be ALL that God intended them to be.
Jason and Tiffani make their homestead on a small farm in Northern Virginia and have been serving the Lord at their local church (Calvary Chapel of Manassas) since November 1998. Jason has served on the worship team as the electric guitarist since 2000, and has been the worship leader since 2005.
How did they work things out when they eventually came back together?
They did a”whole lotta wrong”, so it wasn’t about what they DID, but what they learned about couples that are currently separated that want to make their marriage work:
2. Find a godly pastor to walk and mentor you.
3. Work together as a team.
4. Remember most of the time it isn’t easy.
5. Don’t give up – take the divorce word off the table..
Three top tips they’ve taken to allow their marriage to thrive:
1. Forgive, forgive, forgive even more. If Jesus can forgive us, we need to forgive others. Be a person that will “Walk in forgiveness.”
3. Unconditional love. Realize the effort behind it.
Best Marriage Advice:
- Pray together. Here’s how to get started:
- Just do it.
- Pray with your wife, for your wife, and over your wife.
- A great post Jason wrote on this: http://songsix3.org/do-you-pray-with-your-wife/
What is one thing you know now that you wish you had known before you got married?
- Your husband won’t magically morph into your “idea” of a husband.
- God’s gift of sex WITHIN the marriage.
What is exciting you most about your marriage?
- They can talk about anything.
- Men, when you pray over your wives, use what words come naturally to you. And wives, don’t ridicule their attempts as they will get better.
- Women, pray over your husbands too.
Book or Resource recommendations
- The Excellent Wife: A Biblical Perspective
- The Exemplary Husband: A Biblical Perspective
- Intimacy Ignited: Conversations Couple to Couple: Fire Up Your Sex Life with the Song of Solomon
- How to Act Right When Your Spouse Acts Wrong
Jason wanted to re-iterate some points that weren’t in the interview that Dave read on the podcast, and so here they are:
“We’ve been at the same church (Calvary Chapel of Manassas), and under the same senior pastor since 1998. Pastor Dave Spear has been there with us through our darkest days. He didn’t cut any corners or pull any punches with either one of us. Where there was sin, he was not afraid to call it what it was. And rightly, he doesn’t take sides. He is definitely an impartial mediator who ALWAYS brought us back to God’s Word as the ultimate authority to any issue we were dealing with.”
“Pastor Dave painstakingly teaches the deep things of the Word book-by-book, verse-by-verse, week-by-week. And we have absolutely no doubt that without his Godly influence in our marriage at times when we were on our worst behavior, we would NOT be in the great place we are today.”
“We are grateful that God, in His awesome forethought, led us so specifically to this small church 17 years ago. God knew that we would be needing good leadership and counsel to get thru some marital minefields, so He provided it for us just in time – His “perfect” time. In early 2012 He called us to help others who are struggling in their marriages now.”
“With that call, SongSix3 – “My Beloved Is Mine” was born.”